R.I.P. Marriage Part I: Society’s Dilemma

I was out smoking with some co-workers the other day, and the subject of tattoos came up. We were talking about new tattoos, when someone made the statement that we have all heard, or even said at one time or another. “I would never get my spouses name tattooed on my body. If we broke up, then I would be stuck with their name on me for life”. I used to be enrolled in this same school of thought, until I got a mind of my own and decided to drop out. I find it very odd that you marry someone under the assumption of spending your life with them, but can’t commit to their name on your body because it might not work out. Sure, that is always a possibility, but why should it even matter? You’re devoted to this person for life! The better question would be, what wouldn’t you do for this person? But maybe that’s the problem. Nobody’s devoted to anybody anymore. We’re all just going through the motions.

It’s like marriage is about as valuable nowadays as a pair of underwear. You wear them for as long as they’re comfortable. But as soon as they wear out, you toss them in the trash and get a new pair. Call me old fashioned, but what ever happened to unconditional love in marriage? It’s like love has gone through this same calorie cutting phase as everything we eat, and has been repackaged as “Love 0”. Same great taste, minus the extra fat from forgiveness, honesty, trust, and devotion. But when you think about it, has unconditional love in marriage ever been that popular? The same things that plague marriage now have always existed. The only real difference nowadays is the increasing divorce rate. Divorce has become so popular, that pretty soon there will be an app for it in iTunes. How’s that for convenient!

With the way things are going, you have to wonder why anyone gets married anymore. Unfortunately society has made marriage such a norm, that it has become more of a requirement than a choice. It’s like there is some relationship checklist, and once you reach a certain point, you have to check the marriage box in order to qualify for certain life benefits. The perfect example of this is the whole gay marriage debate. Yeah the union in the eyes of God thing is nice, but the biggest reason why gays want the right is the legal benefits that come with being married. Go figure someone would want to provide health care for a sick partner, or survivor benefits to a grieving companion. The audacity! But that is the world we live in; discrimination through hypocrisy. But before I digress any further, back to the point I was trying to make. I’m not saying that the situation I just mentioned is the only reason people get married. I do believe that people still get married because they truly love and care for each other. But with the overall belief being that once you are with someone for a certain length of time, marriage should be in your immediate future is wrong. First, marriage isn’t for everyone. Second, some people just stay in a relationship because their either scared, or do not want to got through the hassle of finding someone better. Love can exist between two people without commitment. Sometimes you’re just better off being friends; or at least fuck buddies.

My wife read to me a status from Facebook that really sums up this post. This is not an exact quote, but it basically said that instead of searching for someone to spend your life with, you should find the person that you can’t imagine spending your life without. It makes sense when you think about it. When you commit to someone for life, essentially that person becomes a part of you. And once they become a part of you, they become essential to your well being. Imagine living life without an arm or a leg; how devastating that would be. You could learn to cope and move on, but your life would never be the same. I’m not saying that you should feel this way before you begin a relationship. That’s the point of a relationship, to grow into that kind of love. I’m also not saying you have to be married in order to experience that kind of devotion. I’m saying that committing to another person, whether it be through marriage or not, should not be taken lightly. Pay attention to your doubts and trust in your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. So before making that big leap, give yourself the tattoo test. Would you be willing to get this person’s name tattooed on your body? If the answer is no or you’re not sure, you may want to reconsider checking that marriage box.

II Cents

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About iicents

I am who I am. Who I am has been forged in the fires of trials and the steel of tribulations. Built strong enough to strike a fearsome blow upon life, but sturdy enough to handle the recoils of hardship that it brings. I am a product of my mistakes, wrapped in a vessel of understanding. I know that the future is mine to mold and the past is ONLY a reminder of the events that have shaped me. I am of unique design that nothing earthly could ever alter or duplicate. Grateful. A troubled soul still searching for peace within. My road may be long, and my journey is grueling. But the blanket that comforts me is knowing that I am a capable traveler. This is my definition. This is who I AM. View all posts by iicents

3 responses to “R.I.P. Marriage Part I: Society’s Dilemma

  • r0ch

    hey there.. I hear you… 🙂

    On the flipside.. my sister and my brother inlaw tattooed each others names on themselves before they got married. 🙂

    • iicents

      @ r0ch

      I’m glad you liked the post. That’s even better that they did it before they got married. It means that they were definately commited to each other before they got married. Which is the way it should be. I hope they enjoy a long, happy lfe together. Stay tuned, cause there is more to follow.

  • JohnJeremyVines

    Cannot imagine myself either getting a tattoo (of anything, mainly because I’m deathly afraid of needles) or being married.
    You make a good point about how it’s expected you be married when certain conditions are met. I would add that if, past a certain age (usually 30), you aren’t or haven’t been married, it’s still widely thought “there must be something wrong” with you. It’s often the unwritten laws that are most in need of repeal.
    Anyway, great post and not at all what I thought it would be. Best of luck on Empire Avenue.

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